We all love Christmas dinner. The food is tasty and heaped on the plates, the company is great and the conversation flows. Christmas crackers only add to the festivities. These table decorations make a wonderful snapping sound when they’re pulled and drop a little gift out. Generally speaking, crackers include a small present, a paper crown and a joke. Jokes in Christmas crackers can go one of two ways. They’re either genuinely funny or, more likely, incredibly cheesy. Here are some cracker jokes that will actually make you laugh, or so we hope. Make sure to whip them out next time you get a dud joke, or when you want to lighten up a Christmas party.
General jokes:
- What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? A stick.
- What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.
- What do frogs wear on their feet? Open toad sandals.
- Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.
- Who is Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.
- What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
- How is Drake like an elf? He spends all his time wrapping.
- Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks.
- What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet.
2020 was a bizarre year in itself, so we had no choice but to include these hilarious jokes.
Jokes of 2020:
- Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone
- Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have.
- Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
- Did you hear that production was down at Santa’s workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate.
- What is Dominic Cummings’s favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
- Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.
- What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
- Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because, eventually, it’s behind you.
Ba-dum tiss! Did you laugh? We sure did. There is nothing like a good joke to lighten the humour of any occasion. These cracker jokes are sure to do just that.
